u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
