Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
