What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
