just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
