SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
