is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
