He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
