yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
