There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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