Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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