i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
