Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
