gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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