there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
