remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
