He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
