remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
