My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
