I think scott just propositioned me for sex
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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