I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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