i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
