sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
