I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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