I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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