Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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