i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
