i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
