we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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