No, drunk sperm still make babies.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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