Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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