That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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