How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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