The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
