I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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