The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i believe in u and ur pee
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
