so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
