ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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