Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
