My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
