She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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