there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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