Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
