let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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