Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
