How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
