Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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