so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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