i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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