Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
