If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
