Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
