They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
